so here we are at starbucks. Can I hear the voice here? I have a feeling of self consciousness when I close my eyes in meditation here. Are they looking at me? Do I appear strange?
I can see that these concerns are keeping me from accessing the still part of my mind. The play starts in half an hour. Or an hour actually, but our friends are to start arriving in half an hour. I just have that much time to write. Stephanie will be on her way already. Wylie is volunteering as an usher. The National Security Agency will be filing this post in it's computer somewhere. Terrorists?
So I look pretty snappy in my white jeans and my orange psycho bunny shirt. I just signed up to try Kambo medicine on Friday. Frog slime from the Amazon that they rub into fresh burn marks that are made on the skin of the upper arm for men. Skin of the lower leg for women. I want my burns to scar. Sometimes they do.
Am I just a voyeur? Why am I having this frog medicine? To follow with Ayahuasca from the depths of the rain forest. That I am familiar with. I think I've probably had about 400 servings of Ayahuasca in the last four years. It has completely transformed my very life. I am a much healthier, shinier happier more illuminated man. Both on the outside and on the inside.
It's so easy to give up your bad habits. It's so easy to appreciate. It's so easy to see how attachment to external things brings no satisfaction. But it's not easy to see when you are living in the old way. Caught up in the world of ten thousand things.
Enlightenment is a funny thing. One keeps seeking it long after one has found it. It really is just the accumulation of a few simple bits of wisdom. There is nothing to fear because death is an illusion. Love is the only thing that matters, and what is not love has no value. With that in mind, what do you do with your life? Seriously?
The retirement industry? Are you kidding? I need $100,000 a year to retire comfortably according to their calculations. I can pay rent in Austin, Texas for $300 a month in a place where I can grow a garden. If I can grow my own Santa Maria and walk to a swimming hole, then I think $20,000 will be fat city.
Time is not money and money is not time. Money is a waste of time.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy nice things. I wore a pair of $600 Prado shoes to the ballet last night. But the thing is, I would have been just as happy wearing my beat up converse with no laces to a movie. Probably happier.
The best way to meet your needs is to redefine them. We all have the sun, we all have the moon. As mestre Irineu says "All the gold the earth has, it's the light that shines more."
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Peace is a garden in your heart
And so here is another writing exercise. Still trying to open to the voice within. The key is not to judge the words that aI find here. There is no need to worry about whether they are good enough. This is true so often in life. You don't sing because you do not think you are good enough. You are afraid of being embarrassed.
What is embarrassment anyway? Is it fear that someone will look at what you offer and judge it as not sufficient? Is it a fear that someone will mock you? What if there is a person whose nature it is to mock? Will it then be your goal to prevent them from doing so? You have to release these limiting self judgments. Do for those who appreciate.
Edit not to avoid harsh judgment but for love. Why do you take care to use grammar and spell correctly if you are not trying to impress anyone? Because it is an act of love. It is like weeding a garden. It is showing that you value what you create.
Love comes from inside and to have love you must give love. You can give love through your writing. By taking the care and time to make it pretty, to make it correct, you create a beautiful garden. It is not your concern who else may enjoy it or explore it. It is sufficient that you create it. All of creation is my garden, and the point is not to call people to explore your little section. The point is to simply create.
So create a space of peace. A space of beauty. Create this garden first in your own heart, and then manifest it into the world. This little essay is a meadow in your garden. Whoever enters here will find the holy presence of peace. For this peace is within their heart, and by being here and reading this, they will be reminded of it.
So dear reader, dear traveler. I do not know how it is that you have come to be here. But know that you are welcome. Know that whatever it is that you fear, whatever it is that you perceive in the world outside yourself cannot enter into this most sacred space within your heart. This is where you will retreat when the world outside you turns to dust. When your body is wracked with pain and your health is failing you. In the darkness of a prison. When all hope from outside is gone. Find your peace here, because this is where it exists. Peace is a garden in your heart.
What is embarrassment anyway? Is it fear that someone will look at what you offer and judge it as not sufficient? Is it a fear that someone will mock you? What if there is a person whose nature it is to mock? Will it then be your goal to prevent them from doing so? You have to release these limiting self judgments. Do for those who appreciate.
Edit not to avoid harsh judgment but for love. Why do you take care to use grammar and spell correctly if you are not trying to impress anyone? Because it is an act of love. It is like weeding a garden. It is showing that you value what you create.
Love comes from inside and to have love you must give love. You can give love through your writing. By taking the care and time to make it pretty, to make it correct, you create a beautiful garden. It is not your concern who else may enjoy it or explore it. It is sufficient that you create it. All of creation is my garden, and the point is not to call people to explore your little section. The point is to simply create.
So create a space of peace. A space of beauty. Create this garden first in your own heart, and then manifest it into the world. This little essay is a meadow in your garden. Whoever enters here will find the holy presence of peace. For this peace is within their heart, and by being here and reading this, they will be reminded of it.
So dear reader, dear traveler. I do not know how it is that you have come to be here. But know that you are welcome. Know that whatever it is that you fear, whatever it is that you perceive in the world outside yourself cannot enter into this most sacred space within your heart. This is where you will retreat when the world outside you turns to dust. When your body is wracked with pain and your health is failing you. In the darkness of a prison. When all hope from outside is gone. Find your peace here, because this is where it exists. Peace is a garden in your heart.
Hello empty blog. I am wondering if I could create the habit in myself of spending some of my idle hours writing. I have about fifteen minutes right now before my massage. Maybe I can activate that voice within me that is my source of wisdom.
I had an experience of the other in meditation the other night. I feminine divine presence was showing me how with my mind in "flat lake" meditation, she could slip her words from the astral into my consciousness. To perceive this requires the most profound silence of the mind. Only in the deepest meditation can I achieve this. Even the thought of recognizing the voice as an other is enough to break the reception.
In this state the personal ego truly is eliminated. I saw the voice of my personality as just a program of some sort that was running inside my neural network. I set of conceptions and memories that held onto a limited concept of what "I" am and reacts to what it perceives in the outside world, having no idea at all that the "I" is what creates the outside world in the first place.
Ask yourself this in meditation.
"What is it that thinks it is you?"
When the thought arises "this is ME" who is that voice? and in what medium does this voice exist?
The medium is consciousness, which is the very essence of the astral. Everything exists in this medium. Everything IS this medium.
In meditation this medium is the surface of a lake. Our thoughts, feelings and so forth are turbulence on this water. To quite the mind is to calm the lake. Only when the smallest ripples have disappeared can the reflections of heaven be seen. The surface must be smooth as a mirror.
I had an experience of the other in meditation the other night. I feminine divine presence was showing me how with my mind in "flat lake" meditation, she could slip her words from the astral into my consciousness. To perceive this requires the most profound silence of the mind. Only in the deepest meditation can I achieve this. Even the thought of recognizing the voice as an other is enough to break the reception.
In this state the personal ego truly is eliminated. I saw the voice of my personality as just a program of some sort that was running inside my neural network. I set of conceptions and memories that held onto a limited concept of what "I" am and reacts to what it perceives in the outside world, having no idea at all that the "I" is what creates the outside world in the first place.
Ask yourself this in meditation.
"What is it that thinks it is you?"
When the thought arises "this is ME" who is that voice? and in what medium does this voice exist?
The medium is consciousness, which is the very essence of the astral. Everything exists in this medium. Everything IS this medium.
In meditation this medium is the surface of a lake. Our thoughts, feelings and so forth are turbulence on this water. To quite the mind is to calm the lake. Only when the smallest ripples have disappeared can the reflections of heaven be seen. The surface must be smooth as a mirror.
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