letting go of editing for the audience

One of the main reasons I don't write my blog is because I'm thinking about what someone else is going to think when they read it.  I guess that is a little judge in my brain that plays the roll of the audience.  It stops me from writing because it demands that I write something worthy of being written.  I need to let go of this judge.

And so this blog is going to start being a blog that is not perfect.  It is not intended or written for the purpose of being read.  The and I did it again, I corrected myself.  The purpose of this blog is for me to write it without judging what is said.  I just have to write it. It will create the habit of writing.  It will let the words start to flow.  It will open the channel to receive things to write and then to write them.

It will find the voice.  The conscience is a voice.  To examine the conscience is the first lesson.  The conscience quite simply is the guide.  The voice we can hear but the voice we do not listen to.  The conscience is the voice that ignores the ego, and the ego is the voice that ignores the conscience.  This is because the ego wants everything and the conscience wants nothing.  They cannot even speak to each other.  We can choose what voice we want to listen to.  We have to have a guide.

We do have to have a guide.  There are two possibilities.  One is ourself.  We can trust our mind, or rather the dominant voice in our mind to be our guide.  That is the voice of the ego, and it is the ego that has a hard time writing in this blog.  It is the ego that asks the questions.  It is the ego that asks what will you think when you read this?

But there is another voice too.  It is a quiet voice.  It is my voice?

So I am sitting here in the living room with this slick laptop on my lap.  I am on a red sofa on the tenth floor of a very nice condominium tower with views looking over the water in Miami.  It is my fiancé's house.  I live here now.  And so a voice in my head is telling me not to post that.  I wonder if it matters. Is it fear who might find out?  What if someone finds out ... oh this is so and so, and he wrote this thing...he told something about himself that is potentially embarrassing. And so what are you going to do?  Look it up? Find out who I am? Tell everyone!  Oh my god, so and so published something on the web and it was embarrassing.  Now we are all scandalized.  It was rambling on and on and he said he lived at your place.

So funny. So what? Honey Badger doesn't care if you think this blog post is weird.  Actually, maybe publishing a blog post that is weird might be just the thing.  There might be another weirdo out there who likes it.  There may be someone that it helps.  It is that person that can benefit from it.  Maybe it will give someone else the courage to do as well as they can.  Maybe it will teach someone else to use and to share their talents such as they are.  Maybe it will inspire someone to write a comment.  Who knows what it will do.  But one thing it won't do is hurt anybody.  I suppose that is true.  Am I reckless?