Stepping through days

And so the days continue to roll by.  I still have some work to do on a project for the Bank that I have just not been motivated to do.  S has work today, which is Saturday.  She works tomorrow too.  She's part of a project that will require her to work six days a week with only Monday off until the project goes into a new phase in mid-November.  I went to see my talky doctor yesterday.  I questioned why I was there, because I do not feel like a patient.  Nevertheless she gave me some good advice.

I had to sign a negative performance review.  It was not something I wanted to sign, and I felt that I had not had an opportunity to speak.  But talky doctors advice was sound. Let go of pride and take one for the team.  Just sign it and send it back without causing unnecessary drama.  I am content to persist in this job until the spring.   But it sure makes it hard to get motivated to do actual work.  With no prospect of a bonus, with no prospect of a long term career, and with no friendships or personal motivations, by career with the bank is a dead letter.  The rash part of me wants to just cut this dead branch out of my life right now to make way for new growth.  But with my ex depending on me for alimony and in recognition of how unsexy it would be if I were unable to pay my alimony on my own, I really just have to put up with it.  But today is the six month pre-anniversary of alimony freedom day.

There are a few mile posts on the next six months.  Next weekend I will be traveling for work.  The middle of November marks the shifting of S's project, and then we have Thanksgiving.  We are traveling for works in the Santo Daime over New Years.  I have two corporate meetings in January and February, and then we get married in February.

So much is changing in the next six months.  I must keep a positive focus during this time because the outcomes are all in their probability field.  I need to focus on meditation and alignment with my vortex to create the outcome I want.

Beware of discontent because it will be your downfall.  Discontent will elad you in directions that are not in your best interest.  Gratitude and present mindedness are the remedy for discontent.  You have everything you need and your mission is being revealed to you in its own time.  Remember your mission is to perform the function that God has given to you, and this function is to teach.  You are teaching some very important people right now, and when you let your ego run away with your  mood, you are stepping out of this vital role.  The worries that darken your mind are all dark imaginings of a future that does not exist yet.  Anxiety is by definition focused in the future.  You cannot be anxious concerning the present moment because anxiety implies concern for what will happen.  Peace is the only state of mind that you can entertain in the present moment.  Peace should be your goal, and peace comes from the here and now.

The vibration of stress that you feel in your heart is from a scary story about the future.  You fear that the large events that are looming on the horizon may not work out in a favorable way.  But you must have faith that they will work out as I intend to have them work out.  You can select your path, but if you surrender your path to my will, then you will always find peace in your heart.