So I silenced my miraculous iPhone for half an hour. I have no excuses. There is little that will interrupt me except for Alba, who is cleaning the house. Hopefully she will stay on the other end. And so here I am with my thoughts and the first one that came into my mind was the Migraine I had on Monday. I have not had one in quite a long time. I do not even remember when the last one was. It seems like unfinished business from the work on Saturday.
It occurs to me that just because the title to the post appears at the top, does not mean it should be the first thing I write. I deleted it. I will write the title after I write this. After I write this for thirty minutes, which does seem, right now anyway, like a long time. And if you are reading this, which you are welcome to do, I would like to reitterate that I don't think this is good enough. I am trying very hard not to judge what I write, so I can develop a facility for actually writing it. The only bad writing is no writing by this theory. Maybe this proves otherwise, but maybe even that is useful.
So it seems a lot of people had migraine headaches on Monday. I know astrologically that the sun is alligneing with Saturn, and that they have both just slipped into scorpio. These powerful forces will align directly opposite the full moon on October 29th. We will get agood burst of energy on that day!
Everything continues to move so fast.
My young son is 18 years old and his girlfriend has moved into his bedroom at his mothers house. It is a very intense situation. He has a job, and she will look for one when she turns 18, which is in about a month. But for now, they are both living at her house. It seems like there are so many forces that are aligned against them. I want to communicate a feeling of hope to them. They do have the power to make their lives, but to do it, they are going to have to let go of a lot of expectations. My friends M and L from Austin tried hard to make it work at a tender age, and they had to separate. They are still a couple, bu thtey do not live together anymore. That was during my summer of 2011. I lived in the little attic above their apartment. I really did have nothing, but I had my jeep and a little place to sleep. It was a hot summer, but somehow I made it.
So much is changing so fast. My job is certainly the next thing on the line. I think that may have been a big contributor to my migraine the other day. It is so difficult sometimes to stay firm when the world is shaking.
I have to go on a trip for the bank today. I pray for the force to surrender to this mission. I do not understand how it fits on my path, but it certainly has appeared on it. I would resist going because I lack this understanding, but it does seem like the right thing to be doing. I pray for the force to let go of my resistance to this idea. I pray for the force to let go of resistance to change. I pray for the force to let go of the holding on. I pray for the serenity to not try to change anyone's mind while I am aay working. I praty for the humility to work steadily. To do my work where my work is required. Maybe my purpose in God's plan is to be with B, in the other hotel. My ego is certainly offended by that situation. Maybe some of my teaching and learning come from there.
Maybe I do not know my purpose. Maybe there are little perarls of wisdom that will start to fall from my writing. Maybe I ill have some ideas that find there way to these pages. Maybe they will help someone. Maybe the purpose is to instruct S and I about how it feels to be apart for a few days. Maybe we will discover that we like it. Maybe the purpose is for me to spend some time talking to my boss. Maybe it will be to help someone there.
I will travel for these three days with my mind open for possibilities. I was reading in the course in miracles today. I was reading about how we can join our minds with the mind of Christ. That there is no separation between us, and that the only way to find what we truly are is to find it in our brothers. So much from the Daime ligns up with the Course in Miracles. It really is amazing. w
Which guide will you choose? The ego? The ego is insane and it knows nothing but fear. It will guide you in circles because it does not know any true direction. It speaks first and speaks loudest and can therefore be very persuasive, but as a guide, it cannot teach you anything or direct you to any place you want to go. It can only shake you around.
I see G and H being shaken by their lives. It must feel very strange to be living like they are in that house. I wonder what their lessons are. I am sure they are strong lessons.
A little impuse inside me starts my figners moving again. My fingers move like rippling waves. They do not know what they are going to write. I had a vision the other day with Alex Polari that showed how the path is always there, whether we have Daime or not. I pray for the quite mind needed to tap into this source. I pray to open my aprahelo so that I may receiive and channel that which comes from beyond. A sensitive receiver is required to pick up these channels. The mid is such a device. You can fill your mind with the voice of the ego, which will crowd out all other voices, or you can still your mind so that the ripple from the astral go stirring through it and into your consciousness.
If you wish to write my words then you must learn to empty your mind so that I may write them there. Like at this very moment you do not know what it is that you will be writing. It is enough that you receive. What you receive will come right through you and otho the paper You can discuss the source and you can debate whether or not you think this voice is real, but none of that matters. The voice you are hearing is my voice and it is up to me to identify mysel fto you. But you are resisting hearing this information. You do not wan to receive it, and so it is not imposed upon you. Instead you remain satisfired to simply write down the words you are receiving.
That is ok, but there is still a teacher. There is only one teacher and that teacher is christ. You already know this anwer but you resist it. You resist this answer because your ego thinks that is too big a voice to channel through your humble machine. But that is, my sweeness, the wrong way to look at it. Why would you not want to channel the bstrongest and best voice? You are going into the astral in search of a guide and a teacher. The strongest voice is waiting there for you and that voice is mine.
Go do your work in Jacksonville. This is a break time for you as well as a work time. You are there to do my work, not the work of the bank. You resist this mission only because you do not understand, but surrender to it and understanding will come. A part of your mind is still questioning this writing. You are thinking that this is too long and that nobody will want to read it. But you already know that this is not the point of this exercise. Of course you judge an exercise by the wrong criteria, then you will have a wrong judgment of the exercise itself. If you think the exercise is to write something profound that someone esle will want to read, whne the exercise is simply for you to learn to get into touch with your inner voice, my voice, then you will judge your exericse by the wrong criteria. This again is the ego which judges everything wrongly, and therefore has wrong opionoins about everything. The purpose of this exercise is for you to notice how even when you hit backspace to delete a istyped letter you interrupt the flow of your writing, of my words.
The purpose of this exercise is to create flow. It is to open your channel to me. I will decide what to write. You can decide when to read it. You can decide whether youw ant to read it. If there is something in here that is meant for soeone else, they will find it one way or another. Maybe you will repeat something that will find it's way to the target ear. Mabye I will bring them here and guide them through this writing.
But I am the teacher and you are the student. But the reciprocal is also true... you are the teacher, but I am not your student, because I am just trying to wak eyou up at this point. This is not about being equal or fair. Are you the equal of your brother who is sleeping? of course. Does your brother know he is sleeping? Not while he is in a dream. So if you gently wake up your brother from a deep sleep, you are teaching he, and he is not teaching you, and yet you are still equal in every sense of the word. This is the nature of my relationship to you.
We are all part of the same mind. The illusion of spearatarion is that there are many minds. I see the truth and you do not because you are asleep. I am here to enter into your dream and wak eyou from the inside out.
Remember some of the nightime dreams you have been given recently? Let one come to you...you can feel it there...what was it? There was a rat in a drawer and you caught it to take it outside. To defend itself against being eaten it started to defecate. So you walked outside holding a defecating rat. What else happened in that dream? Do you remember? It was very strainge wasno't it? Yet you knever questioned its reality.
this dream is the same way. It is so obviously a dream of your own creation, but being in it, you can but attest to its reality. This is because you made it, and you believe in what you made. Really it is that simple. that's why you believe your other dreams, your night time dreams. You believe them becaus eyou create them. So if you are swimming with a boat and a raft and a polar bear up rice steppes covered with snow, in warm water, well you will never in that dream quesiton the reality of your experience.
Where is go dwhen you are there? What source can you pray to? How can you remember? A voic emust come into your mind while you are in the dream. W could dream of a book adn read the voice. We could pray or miditate, which we do not do in dreams. But what about this draem that we are in right now? What can we do now?
The same thing si the answer. We have to connect through the mind. The mind creates your world, just as the mind creates your nightime dreams.
And so that was half an hour.
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